Emotions...

"Your heart is not the compass that God steers by." Samuel Rutherford

I got this quote from a quote-of-the-day email and it really got me thinking. It seems like my emotions can be all over the place... and what a twisted, up & down, jumbled path I would be on if I allowed my life to be directed by those fleeting thoughts of anger, jealousy, pride and lust that sometimes occur.

When I was younger I often gave way to the "firey Irish red-head" that lurks within... My fits of anger were rough on everyone - including me, as shame would drive me to avoid whoever I blew up at most recently! or, worse yet, I would continue to feed the flame of my anger against them for not agreeing with me, or not letting me have my way, or not living up to my ideals (not that I did!), or, heaven forbid, doing something in any other way except the way I asked for it to be done... It didn't matter if I was wrong, if your way was better, if we did it my way the previous dozen times & so it was your turn - what mattered was that I was in control of when & how things happened, and was also in control of the results.

Isn't it funny how a little maturity & experience changes the way we look at things? Control... well, what was left of it, clearly went out the window when Little Bit arrived in our little home. Now I'm on someone else's schedule, putting their needs (and often meals) ahead of my own. Don't get me wrong, the "firey Irish red-head" still makes an occassional appearance, but thankfully she doesn't come by as often & tends to leave much quicker. I'd like to believe she's been tamed, but know that's just my pride talking... I still have a long way to go, but I like to think I'm a little easier to live with, and if that's the case, it's gotta be because God's changing me.