The Transitions of Life

Today was a momentous day, though it started just as many others we've lived lately. I got up early to drive my Sweet Baboo to work, so I could have the car to go on a long-overdue visit to see my dear friend K. K and I have talked quite a bit over the last few years about the growing recognition that our parents will not be with us as long as we would like... and that we are more and more frequently noticing the evidence of their aging. While visiting with her (and hoping to bring her some encouragement in light of a health issue her Mom is currently recovering from) I received a call from my Sweet Baboo... his Mom came home from work today to discover Dad had passed away (apparently in his sleep).

As I drove back into town to pick up Sweet Baboo at work so we could go be with the family, my mind was a jumble of thoughts and feelings. We have been married for 21 years & I have known Sweet Baboo's family for 31 years. In fact, I was calling my mother-in-law "Mom" before I even met SB, as she was the mother of one of my best junior-high friends (Baboo's little brother)! Mom has been struggling with Dad's declining health for the last couple of years and has been transitioning the household in various ways to accomodate his growing lack of mobility, his struggles with negative emotions, and increasing needs for medical assistance.

They were married 47 years. There were many times that life was difficult for them, many battles that seemed impossible to deal with. Many, many times that others would have given up... In a way, this is a reminder that I "married well". Now, I clearly married for love, not for money... but I "married well" in joining a family that knows the meaning of commitment, and has demonstrated sacrificial love in a million little ways over many years.

Sweet Baboo and I have been dealing with heightened emotions as part of the transition of no longer having a child at home, so are having a little difficulty dealing with this additional loss. It's still not really "real" to us... though the reality is inescapable looking into the eyes of his Mom, who is at a loss for what she should be doing right now and is even more bewildered about what changes she will need to make as time goes on.